I'm gay and I'm straight
by randomemovampire-elf
Summary: I'm gay and I'm straight, Tom? What were you thinking?
1. Vampires will never hurt you

"I'm gay and I'm straight, Tom? What were you thinking, they're complete opposites! As if I would be stupid enough to court a halfwit like you! I'm amazed he believed us!" Hal hissed at Tom through gritted teeth as he pulled Tom's vest over his head and threw it at the werewolf angrily.

"Hal, calm down. Don't matter na anyway, at least we got the baby checked and we know shes a'right."

"It doesn't matter? He's probably gone back to his surgery to check up on us and then he's going to find out that we haven't actually adopted her! But he was right about something, you are a dimwit! It's I'm gay and proud!" Hal strode over to his wardrobe, picked out one of his own white shirts and pulled it on viciously.

"Oh are ya? I didn't think ya actually was. Well, thanks fer tellin' me, but you should tell Annie, so she can change the 'ause rules about bringing girls home."

"No, Tom, that's not what I meant.I was just saying what you were supposed to." Hal muttered, shaking his head

"You know I don't mind if you are, it don't bother me. Mcnair always taught me not to be nasty to people. Unless they're a vampire."

"I am a vampire, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Yeah but you're a nice one."

"Really? I thought i was a... how did you put it? Oh yes, a 'dickhead`"

"Yeah, but you don't, like, eat people. So, ya might be a dickhead, but you're a good vampire."

"Interesting logic. I didn't know that cavemen could understand anything that complex."

"Actually, cavemen were really clever. They invented wheels an' tha'. But of course you'd know that, since you were there."

"I'm not quite that old Tom."

"Na, course you aint. If you was, you'd've figured aut tha' you was gay a long time ago."

"Jesus, Tom! I'm not gay!"

"No need t' be so defensive, like. I was jus' messin' with ya. So 'ow old are ya then?"

"I have been a vampire for 472 years give or take an couple."

"Wow thats old. 'ow many people have ya killed."

"You really don't want to know, and I try not to think about it."

"So it's lots then?"

"I would kill whole villages at a time"

"I though' I ate a lot..."

"Are you attempting to be funny? Because it is not working."

"Well it is a lot. And did you have sex with them? Because, Mitchell, the vampire that lived here before, he liked to have sex with em' before 'e killed them."

"I'm not going to answer that question."

"Thought so, do all vampires do tha'? Or is it jus' Annie's friends?"

"We are seriously not discussing this Tom. Why do you want to know anyway?"

"'Cause it annoys ya. It's fun t' see you get all annoyed and lose control a bit."

"You really do not want to see me lose control. It could get very...messy."

"Yeah, but you can't kill me. Me blood's poisonous to ya."

"I don't have to bite you to kill you. Now, if you would kindly piss off, it's 12 o'clock which means it is time for my press-ups."

"Can I join you Hal?"

"Not today, maybe some other time."

"A'right, see you later Hal." He turned and walked out of the door, back to his own room.

Hal yanked the shirt back off, folded it neatly and dropped to the floor.


	2. Burn, Burn

Tom knocked lightly on Hal's bedroom door, not wanting to barge in, incase he was interrupting.

"Come in" Came the soft reply.

Tom opened the door and entered the immaculate room.

"Hey Hal. I thought that, since it's 12 o'clock and tha's when you do your press-ups, mebbie I could join you. You said I could sometime."

"Of course, I was just about to begin."

Tom walked over to where Hal was standing in the large open space in the centre of the room. He pulled his shirt off as Hal did the same.

"Firs' one t' 100 wins."

"Lets make it 200."

"150."

"Deal, what do we win?

"If you win, I 'ave t' take over yer babysitting duties for a day, if I win, you have t' clean the bogs at the café."

"Deal, but I won't lose."

They both dropped into the correct position for press-ups and began, Hal at nearly twice the speed and Tom knowing he was bound to lose.

Resigning himself to his fate of extra nappies and babyshit, he relished the stretching burn of the exercise, occaisionally glancing at Hal, he would never admit it, but he was seriously impressed.

Until something caught his eye, a fierce red mark adorning Hal's right bicep. Tom paused mid press-up.

"Hal."

Hal also stopped.

"What?"

"Wha's that on yer arm?"

"Nothing."

Tom rearranged himself into a sitting position and examined the imperfection a little more closely.

"It aint nothin', Hal, Thats a burn."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Did I do that to you?"

Hal sat cross-legged opposite Tom, waiting for his outrage.

"Yes, toxic werewolf blood."

"I'm sorreh, Hal.I didnt mean to hurt you."

"What? Aren't you going to stake me or something?"

"Why would I... oh, you 'fought you was the nemesis, didn' ya."

"The prophecy says that a man with a burnt arm will try to kill Eve."

"Yeah, but ya know i don' believe in that shit. An' anyway, it says fire in past tense and arm and you wasn't burnt by fire."

Tom watched as Hal visibly relaxed.

"Really, Annie didn't tell me that part."

"She must've forgotten."

Hal laid back on the floor and streched his arms above his head. Tom followed suit a few moments later.

"Thank you." murmered Hal

"For wha'"

"trusting me not to hurt Eve."

"Nah, It's a'right, I know you wont do nothin' to 'er. You won' admit it but you love her just as much as I do."

"Maybe, but still, thank you."

"You're welcome, Lord Harry."

"If you call me that one more time, I think I'm going to stake myself."

"Don't, i'd miss ya too much."

"I honestly think that that's the nicest thing you've said to me since I arrived."

"Yeah, well, maybe you're not such a dick'ead after all."

"And maybe neanderthals aren't so bad."

"Sorry I made you miss your press-ups."

"That's alright, maybe you could join me tomorrow instead."

"Wicked." Tom pushed himself to his feet. "Well see you later."

"Yes, goodbye Tom."

Tom left the room.


	3. i'm not okay

Hal snapped the garish blue gloves onto his hand and prepared himself for another day of mindless drivel.

It was 11o'clock and if he was honest, Hal couldn't understand why they were open. I mean, who wants a burger at 11am?

it was his turn in the kitchen today, Tom was out front dealing with customers and in some ways Hal was glad that he wouldn't have to converse with the dull population of Barry.

"Hal, we need some more lettuce." Tom shouted back to him. He sighed as he picked up the knife and began to meticulously slice the green salad vegetable.

"'urry up." Came Tom's impatient voice.

"Just a moment. I'm not finished yet." Hal rolled his eyes at Tom's impatience and slowed down his slicing speed in order to further irritate the werewolf.

Eventually he was done and scooped the leaves into a bowl, taking it out the front to Tom.

"Finally." Murmered Tom, what was wrong with him today? He seemed very unlike himself, too serious, not at all like his usual hyper self.

Over the next few hours, they worked in near silence, only interacting when it was absolutely necessary but mostly keeping to themselves.

It wasn't until nearly 2 o'clock that they got a single moment with no-one in the café and at the first chance Hal hurried over to the door and flipped the sign to closed.

Tom huffed loudly, "What was that for?We can't close yet."

"just a short break." Hal replied "I have a feeling that you need to talk about something."

"What makes you say tha'?"

"Well, first of all, you have hardly said a word to me all day, which is strange since normally you don't shut up and secondly, you were being rude to customers which again, you would never normally do."

Tom sat down at the nearest table and motioned for Hal to sit opposite him.

"Well, t' be hones', I really don' know. It's jus', I feel like nothin's been the same since Adam were 'ere, Annie's been acting all strange and you've 'ardly been talking an' we don' feel like a family no more."

"Ah, I hate these types of coversations... ah, it will be okay, Tom. Once everything gets back to normal, it will be fine. Annie's probably upset because she was reminded of George, Nina and Mitchell and I.."

"What?"

"Um, I.. When Yvonne came to me in a dream, I dreamt that I killed you with one of your stakes and now... I feel more dangerous than ever, if I even thought about killing you then maybe I really could. I don't want to though, believe me, I really don't."

"Hal, I know you won' kill me, and you're probably right, everything will be okay soon."

"Yes of course I am right, I'm always right. Now, we have hungry customers to feed potential heart attacks to."

Tom smiled at Hal's over-enthusiasm for the job he used to hate.

"A'right then, c'mon we got work to do."

The rest of the afternoon went fairly well and without incident. Tom seemed to be getting back to his usual self and Hal had spent most of the time polishing teaspoons.

Then disaster struck, well, it was nearly disaster.

It was less than half an hour before closing time when a woman limped into the could smell her blood before she even crossed the threshold.

He gritted his teeth and forced a smile, breathing through his mouth to avoid inhaling the intoxicating scent.

"C-can I help you?" he stammered.

"Um, yes, I was wondering if you had a plaster I could use?See, I fell over and cut my knee open."

"Ah, yes of course, I'll just go and get the-ah first aid box." Hal smiled again, before fleeing into the backroom.

" Tom, we have a.. situation, there is a lady with a cut knee out front and it's bleeding.A lot. Could you take her the first aid box?"

"Yeah, sure mate."

Tom grabbed the box and walked calmly through to the café. Hal breathed heavily, clutching the counter and feeling it warp and crumble under his fingers. He had been doing so well, but now, hehad wanted so much to leap across the counter and bite into the soft flesh of her neck, feel the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. he reached into his pocket to feel the single domino that resided there, turning it over in his fingers in a lame attempt to calm himself. He needed a distraction, to make him forget about the stupid clumsy woman and her stupid glorious blood. And the werewolf who had just entered the room provided a perfect opportuninty.

"Tom, I need your help. I need you to distract me. I can still smell her and I want to- need to feed but I can't. So do something, anything, slap me, round the face."

"really?"

"Yes just do it, now!"

So Tom did. Hal's head snapped to the side as he felt the sting of Tom's hand, but it wasn't enough, he needed more.

" Not enough, do something else!"

Again, Tom did as he was told. He grabbed Hal's head, pulled him forward and smashed their lips together. Tom gasped at the unfamiliar feeling of another persons lips against his own but he kept on going, moving his mouth against Hal's in a strange, new rhythm. His eyes flew open in suprise an the taller man began to kiss back with fervour, licking at Tom's lips and clutching at his shoulders. Tom bit lightly at Hal's bottom lip causing the vampire to let out a soft moan. As if he had suddenly be awoken, his eyes snapped open and he pulled back with shock on his face. Tom looked at the ground avoiding eye contact with Hal. Hal was the first to break the silence.

"Well, I think it worked." Tom looked up and smiled.

"Anytime mate" Hal chuckled quietly and a moment later, Tom joined in.

By the time they left the café, everything was back to normal, well, as normal as they could be.


	4. vampire money

Hal awoke to the sound of Tom's strong voice shouting his name.

"Hal, Hal, wake up mate."

Hal blearily opened his eyes and saw Tom staring back at him.

"W-What are you doing in here?" He muttered grogily.

"You gotta come downstairs, there's one o' those ladies from social services outside, she probably wants to talk about Eve."

"Alright, I'll be down in just a moment, I need to get dressed."

Tom nodded vigirously and sped out of the room and stomped down the stairs as Hal climbed out of his bed and began to pull his clothes on.

Tom opened both of the doors and welcomed the woman in.

"Please, do come in." He said in a strangely robotic voice, born from months of having Annie speak through him to visitors.

She followed him through to the living room and accepted his invitation to sit down.

" My name is Alice Johnson and I work for social services. I have been sent here on some rather important business involving yourself, Mr Mcnair, im afraid we have had some complaints from neighbours about you. I am to believe that you have a daughter?"

"Yeah. Eve."

"Well, I have been told that at certain times, some very strange noises have been coming from this house and it appears that some of the residents of this street are worried about the safety of your child.I don't suppose that you could give any sort of explaination for these strange happenings?"

"That would be Tom, he can get very loud on some nights."

Both Tom and Alice turned to see Hal standing in the doorway, however, only Tom noticed the pattern he was tapping out on the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, but might you be?"

"My name is Hal Yorke, I am Eve's father." Hal crossed the room and held out his hand. She took it, looking rather bewildered.

"I thought that was the childs father."

"I am!"

Alice's eyes widened in realisation and her cheeks flushed as she remembered Hal's earlier comment. Hal rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't realise that she was adopted."

"She isn't, a friend of ours agreed to be a surrogate."

"Of course, and, where is...Eve?"

"She is with her birth mother, An..nabel, we felt it was important for her to grow up knowing her real mother." Hal explained fluidly.

"O-of course, well since I am here, may I take a look around your home, just to make sure that everything is in order."

"Indeed, Miss Johnson, would you like a cup of tea? I am so sorry that you have not been offered one already. Tom why have you not made this lovely young lady a cup of tea?" Alice blushed scarlett again.

"Oh, yeah, A'right, sorreh." Tom retreaded to the kitchen as Hal led Alice upstairs

Hal showed Alice the multitude of rooms in the house, the majority of which were empty, before he came to Tom's room. He opened the door and ushered Alice inside.

"This is Tom's room, well, where he keeps all of his stuff anyway. He doesn't sleep here, of course. It's the one room in the house that I'm not allowed to clean."

"If he doesn't sleep here, why is there a bed?" She said, slightly suspiciously

"It.. came with the house."hal's voice had deepened slightly and Alice dropped the subject.

Hal turned to leave the room and Alice followed as he entered his own.

"this is mine ...and Tom's room."

" Much cleaner. I must say, you two seem to be complete opposites, how do you stand it?"

"I suppose that we do annoy each other in some ways but we also care for one another which makes it bearable." Hal seemed surprised at the words that had come out of his own mouth.

"Awww, well, that's nice, how a relationship should be. Well, I think this house it perfectly fine and safe for the baby, it certainly very clean, though the décor leaves much to be desired. I can also see that she has very caring parents who will look after her."

"Thank you, we most certainly will."

Later that evening, as Alice lay in her bed, memories of her day kept her very much awake. There was something strange about that house and the men who lived there. Fathers to a child who was nowhere to be seen, Lovers, with separate rooms and the dangerous tone that had taken over Hal Yorke's voice when she seemed just the slightest bit suspicious.

Yes, there was something very wrong about that house, something very wrong indeed.


End file.
